• Home
  • Life Coaching
    • My Style
    • Why
  • About Heather
    • Credentials
  • Contact
  • Quotes & Articles

An exercise for understanding

10/24/2014

0 Comments

 
Try an exercise.
Pick someone to try to understand today. No judgement. Maybe they like something you do not. Take a moment to think about it. Even you do not agree,think about why it matters to them.

“I think that hate is a feeling that can only exist where there is no understanding.”
― Tennessee Williams
0 Comments

Emulating ...no thank you.

7/27/2014

0 Comments

 
Sometimes we find ourselves emulating others. We think that we have to in order to be successful.
" That's how they do it, that's how they are getting clients. " I knew I was an outside the box thinker, so why was I following the in the box crew?
    
I was learning from friends and folks on the internet and they had fabulous things to say. I learned so much. Checking what others were doing, and watching their business grow had me feeling like I wasn't doing something right.

I want to listen and learn and put it to my ideas and feelings.

I haven't really had any clients for my photography , and I haven't yet had even one for my coaching. Honestly, at the moment, client or no client, I do not care. I have finally gotten back to me and my outside the box direction.
 
Like at a new job, you are taught and you start out they way you are taught and it takes some time to learn your own way of doing things. As time goes by and we learn more we start to see all the directions we can go.
I  knew when I started both of my ventures that I was going to have to work harder to promote myself, my brand, my ideas and way of thinking.
   
I can't teach others to be themselves if I'm not presenting myself that way ( See, we all need to look inside, even me). I do believe in all the words here on this webpage, and that is what I want to help you with but I gotta go reword this mess, because It is not the way I would  speak it to you if you were my client.

I've spent to much time trying to sound super PROFESSIONAL because I thought I needed to.
I've even had others go over my articles to check spelling and punctuation and  to have it returned with changed "pro" wording, and that didn't work for me because it no longer sounded like me. So I didn't post them.

I'm not business attire lady, I'm cute dress lady. I'm not a proper -speaker-with-my-big-words, I'm the girl that talks to you like I've known you forever and we are best buds.

    I'm not a photographer that only wants to pose you and make everything perfect, that's not my style.  I want real life, messy fun, or creative stylings for how you see yourself on the inside... who you really are or want to be. I knew I would have to work harder, so I am, and I won't stop.
I have a passion for these two things and I will always. They may or may not get me anywhere but I will keep trying. I will do it my way, with my ideas behind it. The only emulating I want to do of successful people is the drive and the fearlessness.

    Now, Im going to revamp all this site to be more me. Saying the things here, but in my own words. Hopefully it works, but either way , I feel better already!!

    Many times, I think others already see me the way I want to be seen and I am the only thinking I still need to try to be seen that way. I've been told I was smart and fearless and like I already knew what I was doing... So now, I am gonna go do just that!

Honestly, I have no idea how to be anything other than ME!



"Stop comparing yourself to others " (link to article at tinybuddha.com)
0 Comments

Be Not Afraid

7/6/2014

0 Comments

 
This is a wonderful post that a friend shared on her Facebook page today.
I thought I would share it with you all. ( she gave permission)
When you take time to reflect, you feel some things. You learn some things.

Be Positive. Be You. Be not afraid.

Thank you Wendy for letting me share.

Post by Wendy Divers Kravetz.
0 Comments

Acceptance. Accepting.

7/5/2014

1 Comment

 
Acceptance is key.   
Relationships. Real life situations. Whatever it may be, accepting it is the key to moving forward.
    It is what it is.
    This is the way things are.

    You may have tried your hardest to make the outcome different. You may have tried your hardest to fix it. You may have done nothing and let things roll into place. Perhaps it is something that came out of nowhere. Something unexpected.
 No matter, you must take it and accept it.

Accept it with your full being. Even if you do not understand, accept.

"
Buddhist teachings on happiness have long held that accepting that which cannot be changed or controlled is key to reducing suffering."

So, let go of what you can not control, accept what it is, and decide how to move forward.
Move forward knowing that you can make it work. Move forward knowing that you have accepted what is and now that you can make it work, you got this!  You got it, Happiness!


HERE
is a great article for more inspiration.
Picture
Picture
Picture
1 Comment

LOVE

4/25/2014

0 Comments

 
I dont talk much about politics or religion. Im just not interested, really. Im also not interested in judging others for their beliefs on either of those .

I am not very "businessy" and I do not know very many big words. I do , however, know what I am passionate and interested in and I want to do it!

Im interested in being loved, and loving others and helping others have and do the same. I am interested in finding and creating beauty in the world, finding and creating happiness, finding and creating love. Love for yourself and love for the people and things around you.

When we do that, others beliefs and opinions aren't a big deal. Let them be them and you be you. One belief does not make a whole person.
We do not need to agree on everything, we just need to love.
If you cant completely love, then just let go, without hate and anger.

I dont know exactly where I was going with all that but there it is....
I do a lot of random thinking on my morning walks. :)

like the Beatles be sayin'... " love is all you need".. so yeah , hug someone today

0 Comments

Positivity exercise

4/19/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
0 Comments

HAPPY

4/15/2014

1 Comment

 
A friend posted this to her facebook timeline.

"I've heard and seen people say that they HATE the song "Happy". I even saw a person say they were irritated that he mispronounces "truth". -__-

I know we all like different styles of music and that's fine. I like LOADS of styles of music. I also know some of us believe that it is cool-artsy-edgy to appear anti-mainstream. I used to think so as well. (Don't worry, I'm not talking mass assimilation into a nation of sheep and robots. Never that!) and if you are just sick of hearing the song... (Well, it IS pretty saturated right now so you may win that argument).

But if you have CONSCIOUSLY ELECTED to hate this song for no valid reason (not music style, not a disdain for pop music, not dislike for the artist... A real reason), the SPIRIT OF THE SONG has gone over your head and YOU have missed the point. I dare say that you may need to evaluate yourself and see if YOU TRULY are happy with your life. Check yourself. I mean REALLY check yourself. Are you really living the life you wanted? Really LIVING??

This is why the song is powerful."


I agree. When I first heard this song, I thought that it was great. We should all make this our anthem. HAPPY... Who doesn't want to be happy?
Are you choosing not to be happy? Make this your anthem, or your goal for it to be. If you feel it is overplayed, that may be true. Turn of the sound or change it, but do not forget what it is saying, even if you never hear/listen again. :)
BE POSITIVE. BE YOU.
Strive to be Happy!!


Watch Pharell
1 Comment

Conscious Uncoupling ..In  my opinion

4/8/2014

0 Comments

 
The moment I heard the term, it made total sense. I seriously could not understand what had everyone acting so crazypants about it. It kinda had me frustrated that people were acting so dumb about it. I mean really, why are people so weirded out?
New-agey, granola and hippy-dippy crap were some of the things I was reading. The internet ran wild with silly tweets and even crashing the GOOP site.
When I first heard it, I thought, "hm, well good for them" in a hooray, that is awesome sort of way. I am truly baffled as to why others are having such a hard time wrapping their heads around a couple that is able to confront their marital( or other) differences and get to an understanding of how each person played a part. A couple able to look inside themselves and not just place the blame on the other party.
We change , we grow. We do it alone, or with another. Either way, we will do it.
What is so wrong with recognizing that a relationship has run its course?

When and where did we learn divorce has to be ugly?
Why is it the norm for divorce to be full of anger and blame ?
Is it because we are unable to search within ourselves, to hold ourselves accountable for our end to the end?

so what is it that has others so perturbed about how it is being said?
If we could
look within and have a better understanding of self, the idea wouldn't be so far fetched. Its the same idea as saying you are " amicably separating" or have decide  you are "mutually done".

no matter if you like they way it is phrased, lets talk about what it really means.
If people are able to consciously work on things to keep a relationship going, are they not allowed to consciously decide together to stop doing that?
 We can only hope to be so lucky to be this way in all our relationships.
Two people choosing to work together at being apart. Two people choosing to co-parent happily and lovingly in the time they have to be together. Two people fully aware of what has happened and what needs to be done for harmony. Two people who possibly, maybe, feel that we are adults, growing and changing and it is accepted the way life should be.... accepted.
Acceptance in all relationships. Acceptance for you who you are, accepting the other person
and accepting
when the two no longer connect.
0 Comments

Emotions

3/31/2014

0 Comments

 

Your emotions/feelings are real. They are valid. Face them. Feel them. Accept them. Hear what they say. That is how we learn and grow from within. That is what helps us understand others and have compassion.

Everything you think and feel is a part of who you are. Be who you are. If others can't understand your feelings, they don't have to. They do not belong to them.

Feel who you are. Be who you are.

Love who you are.!!

0 Comments

5 stages of grief- A "friendly" Rape Story

3/18/2014

0 Comments

 
For my class, I was asked to journal about a time when I went through  Elizabeth kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief. Here is my story.

Several years ago , I was raped. Id say its been about 15 years. Wow. I never really think of how long ago it was, until today.I guess it has just been in my mind but I never stopped to think and review the age I was or what I was doing in my life at the time. I usually remember the good stuff of that time period.
   
Before I start describing the stages, I'll start be explaining why I say its a "friendly" rape story. 2 simple reasons. 1.) We had become really good friends. 2.)I truly believe that he really and truly did not think (at the time or moment) that what was happening was anything other than something friends do, so to speak.

Denial--- For me, my denial, was more like a "what just happened"? "did that really just happen"? seriously?, and less of a feeling of it wasn't real. I knew that it was real and I knew that I was going to have to deal with it. My denial was very short lived.

Anger-- My anger was very short lived as well. It usually is. I definitely was angry, but not at myself or him.  I wasn't angry at myself because I knew that there wasn't anything I did to 'deserve' it. I wasn't angry at him because as I said, I wasn't sure he understood fully. I was just angry about a loss of trust in a friend. A momentary loss of trust in people in general. Just angry that this was something that happened at all. Perhaps just angry because it is a normal emotion in traumatic situations.

Bargaining-- Bargaining for most is a negotiation of sorts with a higher power. It also depends on what your five stages are for. I won't go into detail about my higher power, or my beliefs in one. I will say that the bargaining for me in this situation was just wanting to speak with him. I kept telling everyone that I felt I needed to talk to him and explain to him why what he did was wrong. I wanted to see him and ask him "why exactly did you think that was ok"? Maybe I thought that if I could help him understand, I could understand. In my opinion, a higher power doesn't come in to play in this situation. Maybe it was just trade of understanding.

Depression--- Here is a place I lingered for quite some time. Most often, when someone s depressed, they close themselves off. They hide away and feel they have no one to really talk to, or they just don't want to talk and prefer to be alone. With depression , there is always that feeling of loneliness. However, being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. You can feel lonely with others around.
That was the case with my depression.
I was lonely in my feelings of what happened to me. No one else would understand what this felt like, but I could not stand to be alone. I could not be alone for one second. The moment my roommate left the house for work or run an errand, I was on the phone with anyone who would answer. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't think straight and had nothing to talk about, but I could not be alone.
I kept the tv on.
I listened to the same dashboard confessional album over and over again.
Sounds, like there were people around, anything not to be alone.
 
Acceptance--I can not recall the moment I accepted it. I do know that I feel and accept my emotions as they come. I feel them at the moment they arise. I face them head on and feel them with every ounce of my being. I, many times, feel them all at once until they are gone, like I have an emotional acceptance super power. I feel them, face them, deal with them and then they are gone. One day, whatever the experience or situation was, it becomes just something that happened. Something that was. Often I forget it ever was. When they come up I am able to speak of them nonchalantly. It is what it is. I have the memory of what the emotion was like, but I just don't feel it anymore.


These 5 stages are different for everyone. Rape and trauma are different or everyone. Remember that you do not have to feel lonely or alone. There are plenty of places to look for help, condolence, or others that have the similar feelings and stories. It is important not to ignore your feelings and/or pretend they are not there. Feel them, hear, try to heal them, it is the fastest way to recovery and acceptance.

Here
is a great article from
psychology today about emotional acceptance.

Please feel free to email me if I can help you in any way or if you have any questions


                              Be Positive. Be You.

0 Comments
<<Previous

    Archives

    October 2014
    July 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013

    Categories

    All
    Accept
    Acceptance
    Being
    Buddhist
    Control
    Emulate
    Fix
    Happiness
    Happy
    Ideas
    It Is What It Is
    Key
    Learn
    Love
    Me
    Mine
    Real Life
    Relationships
    Situations

    Life & Relationship Coach

    Life & Relationship Coach

    by Be Positive. Be You. Life and Relationship Coach

    I love helping others find inner peace and clarity in life. Reaching 'a-ha' moments through self reflection and building better relationships with themselves and others. I am a relationship and life coach. I offer one-on-one coaching via email, internet, phone, Skype or...

    Please check out my website @ www.bepositivebeyou.com or find me on facebook.
    Contact Now
    Brought to you by thumbtack.com

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.