This is a wonderful post that a friend shared on her Facebook page today.
I thought I would share it with you all. ( she gave permission)
When you take time to reflect, you feel some things. You learn some things.

Be Positive. Be You. Be not afraid.

Thank you Wendy for letting me share.

A friend posted this to her facebook timeline.

"I've heard and seen people say that they HATE the song "Happy". I even saw a person say they were irritated that he mispronounces "truth". -__-

I know we all like different styles of music and that's fine. I like LOADS of styles of music. I also know some of us believe that it is cool-artsy-edgy to appear anti-mainstream. I used to think so as well. (Don't worry, I'm not talking mass assimilation into a nation of sheep and robots. Never that!) and if you are just sick of hearing the song... (Well, it IS pretty saturated right now so you may win that argument).

But if you have CONSCIOUSLY ELECTED to hate this song for no valid reason (not music style, not a disdain for pop music, not dislike for the artist... A real reason), the SPIRIT OF THE SONG has gone over your head and YOU have missed the point. I dare say that you may need to evaluate yourself and see if YOU TRULY are happy with your life. Check yourself. I mean REALLY check yourself. Are you really living the life you wanted? Really LIVING??

This is why the song is powerful."

I agree. When I first heard this song, I thought that it was great. We should all make this our anthem. HAPPY... Who doesn't want to be happy?
Are you choosing not to be happy? Make this your anthem, or your goal for it to be. If you feel it is overplayed, that may be true. Turn of the sound or change it, but do not forget what it is saying, even if you never hear/listen again. :)
BE POSITIVE. BE YOU.
Strive to be Happy!!


Watch Pharell

The moment I heard the term, it made total sense. I seriously could not understand what had everyone acting so crazypants about it. It kinda had me frustrated that people were acting so dumb about it. I mean really, why are people so weirded out?
New-agey, granola and hippy-dippy crap were some of the things I was reading. The internet ran wild with silly tweets and even crashing the GOOP site.
When I first heard it, I thought, "hm, well good for them" in a hooray, that is awesome sort of way. I am truly baffled as to why others are having such a hard time wrapping their heads around a couple that is able to confront their marital( or other) differences and get to an understanding of how each person played a part. A couple able to look inside themselves and not just place the blame on the other party.
We change , we grow. We do it alone, or with another. Either way, we will do it.
What is so wrong with recognizing that a relationship has run its course?

When and where did we learn divorce has to be ugly?
Why is it the norm for divorce to be full of anger and blame ?
Is it because we are unable to search within ourselves, to hold ourselves accountable for our end to the end?

so what is it that has others so perturbed about how it is being said?
If we could look within and have a better understanding of self, the idea wouldn't be so far fetched. Its the same idea as saying you are " amicably separating" or have decide  you are "mutually done".

no matter if you like they way it is phrased, lets talk about what it really means.
If people are able to consciously work on things to keep a relationship going, are they not allowed to consciously decide together to stop doing that?
 We can only hope to be so lucky to be this way in all our relationships.
Two people choosing to work together at being apart. Two people choosing to co-parent happily and lovingly in the time they have to be together. Two people fully aware of what has happened and what needs to be done for harmony. Two people who possibly, maybe, feel that we are adults, growing and changing and it is accepted the way life should be.... accepted.
Acceptance in all relationships. Acceptance for you who you are, accepting the other person
and accepting when the two no longer connect.

Your emotions/feelings are real. They are valid. Face them. Feel them. Accept them. Hear what they say. That is how we learn and grow from within. That is what helps us understand others and have compassion.

Everything you think and feel is a part of who you are. Be who you are. If others can't understand your feelings, they don't have to. They do not belong to them.

Feel who you are. Be who you are.

Love who you are.!!

For my class, I was asked to journal about a time when I went through  Elizabeth kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief. Here is my story.

Several years ago , I was raped. Id say its been about 15 years. Wow. I never really think of how long ago it was, until today.I guess it has just been in my mind but I never stopped to think and review the age I was or what I was doing in my life at the time. I usually remember the good stuff of that time period.
   
Before I start describing the stages, I'll start be explaining why I say its a "friendly" rape story. 2 simple reasons. 1.) We had become really good friends. 2.)I truly believe that he really and truly did not think (at the time or moment) that what was happening was anything other than something friends do, so to speak.

Denial--- For me, my denial, was more like a "what just happened"? "did that really just happen"? seriously?, and less of a feeling of it wasn't real. I knew that it was real and I knew that I was going to have to deal with it. My denial was very short lived.

Anger-- My anger was very short lived as well. It usually is. I definitely was angry, but not at myself or him.  I wasn't angry at myself because I knew that there wasn't anything I did to 'deserve' it. I wasn't angry at him because as I said, I wasn't sure he understood fully. I was just angry about a loss of trust in a friend. A momentary loss of trust in people in general. Just angry that this was something that happened at all. Perhaps just angry because it is a normal emotion in traumatic situations.

Bargaining-- Bargaining for most is a negotiation of sorts with a higher power. It also depends on what your five stages are for. I won't go into detail about my higher power, or my beliefs in one. I will say that the bargaining for me in this situation was just wanting to speak with him. I kept telling everyone that I felt I needed to talk to him and explain to him why what he did was wrong. I wanted to see him and ask him "why exactly did you think that was ok"? Maybe I thought that if I could help him understand, I could understand. In my opinion, a higher power doesn't come in to play in this situation. Maybe it was just trade of understanding.

Depression--- Here is a place I lingered for quite some time. Most often, when someone s depressed, they close themselves off. They hide away and feel they have no one to really talk to, or they just don't want to talk and prefer to be alone. With depression , there is always that feeling of loneliness. However, being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. You can feel lonely with others around.
That was the case with my depression.
I was lonely in my feelings of what happened to me. No one else would understand what this felt like, but I could not stand to be alone. I could not be alone for one second. The moment my roommate left the house for work or run an errand, I was on the phone with anyone who would answer. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't think straight and had nothing to talk about, but I could not be alone.
I kept the tv on.
I listened to the same dashboard confessional album over and over again.
Sounds, like there were people around, anything not to be alone.
 
Acceptance--I can not recall the moment I accepted it. I do know that I feel and accept my emotions as they come. I feel them at the moment they arise. I face them head on and feel them with every ounce of my being. I, many times, feel them all at once until they are gone, like I have an emotional acceptance super power. I feel them, face them, deal with them and then they are gone. One day, whatever the experience or situation was, it becomes just something that happened. Something that was. Often I forget it ever was. When they come up I am able to speak of them nonchalantly. It is what it is. I have the memory of what the emotion was like, but I just don't feel it anymore.


These 5 stages are different for everyone. Rape and trauma are different or everyone. Remember that you do not have to feel lonely or alone. There are plenty of places to look for help, condolence, or others that have the similar feelings and stories. It is important not to ignore your feelings and/or pretend they are not there. Feel them, hear, try to heal them, it is the fastest way to recovery and acceptance.

Here is a great article from psychology today about emotional acceptance.

Please feel free to email me if I can help you in any way or if you have any questions


                              Be Positive. Be You.